“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning.”
Three people asked me this weekend why I haven’t been writing so I thought I would share my answer with you here. (Hi Grandma, I’m writing again!)
I’m in the wilderness it seems. I don’t think I’m out just yet but I’m beginning to see the dawn break over the horizon and just mere glimpses of it prove it’s a most glorious light.
I’m learning a few things out here and wanted to share some of it with you.
When we experience scarcity and lack, when we are living in a dry and weary land where there is no water – we crave God. We crave His voice. We long for His Word. We thirst for Him. We desire to bear fruit and taste it’s sweetness once again.
The enemy will tell you that in every season you should see great fruit– but it wasn’t that way for Jesus. For 40 days he fasted in the desert and it talks nothing about fruit. And it talks nothing about God or the Holy Spirit ministering to him either. It says nothing… until after the 40 days.
And that’s a lot how this past season has felt for me. A lot like… nothing. A lot of wandering. A bit of confusion. A lot of waiting. Zeal replaced by a lack of passion.
But I keep being reminded to wait on the Lord per Psalm 130. The Lord is faithful. And in each season we walk through – even the wilderness – there is purpose.
Forty days in the wilderness was the beginning of Jesus’ mission. Oddly enough, complete and utter lack catapulted Jesus through his 3 years of ministry directly to the cross, where he would become the Victorious One!
Isn’t that the greatest comeback story of all time? Sort of like The Big Green. Sort of.
Jesus had to spend time in the wilderness — to experience victory!
And if that’s what the wilderness meant for Jesus’ ministry – then that’s encouraging to my walk through it. And yours too.
I have to remind myself of that because I’ve been feeling uneasy for awhile. Where I used to have words and the ability to exhort through the Spirit, I have had nothing. It’s been discouraging. I’ve walked through guilt and shame and wondering what I was doing wrong. But the truth is, it’s not about me. It’s about Jesus and other people and this life he has called me to walk through whether that’s through scarcity or through abundance.
And further, when we lose things that we once had, we begin to realize what a gift they were in the first place.
When we fast, we realize how thankful we are for food. When we lose all of our money, we become more grateful for it when it returns. We see the true beauty of gifts after they are stripped away. And I’m seeing that in my walk with the Lord through the wilderness.
I’m desiring more of God because He’s felt so far. I’m craving Him like I never have before. I thirst for Him more deeply. I am reinvigorated and refueled to do his will.
Devil, you could dangle a husband. A child. A billion dollars in front of me right now – but if not the will of the Lord – I do not want any of it. I want Him. I desire Him.
And I know He will satisfy.
So if you ever find yourself in the wilderness. Don’t give in to the enemy trying to make you feel or think things you shouldn’t. This season will pass.
And it is probably exactly what you need to align your heart and your mind for what is ahead.
So my encouragement to you is this: Wait for the Lord, more than the watchmen at night wait for the morning. The dawn is drawing near, my friend!