It is good to know yourself and what makes you tick. It’s good to look within to know how to exist outside of yourself. It is good to look behind, to recalibrate, and then plan ahead. It is good to know the sin that dwells within.
But it seems, we have gotten stuck looking inside ourselves for answers.
Our society is king when it comes to finding new ways to know ourselves. There are personality tests, books on how to find our passion, articles on how to make ourselves healthier, tricks that will make us happier.
May I suggest that the enemy has sold us a massive lie? And Christians in the States have absorbed it like a sponge?
We believe that in seeking within ourselves, we will find meaning, and if we just look hard enough or understand ourselves a little bit better, we will be fulfilled.
We love knowing ourselves. We know our spiritual gifts (because we took the test), we know our passions in ministry, the ways in which we like to serve or the places we like to serve in. We know our Enneagram number and understand why we are the way that we are (because we’ve read the books and listened to the podcasts). We have read the books on how to find our passion or purpose, and then we follow the steps to quit our job in hoping to ultimately find fulfillment in doing what we love.
We. We. We. — Me. Me. Me.
But, may I suggest, it’s all futile. This endless seeking within is a joke. It’s a massive illusion.
And, I know this because I’ve fallen prey to the lie. And, it makes me angry honestly.
I have spent many years trying to determine why the hell I am here on this earth. I have asked God, I’ve taken every test I could, I’ve read every book at my disposal and the more and more I searched, the more confused I became. I felt like I was wandering in a maze that never ended. No corner I turned was ever the end. But, I kept searching.
Something never felt right about it. But I continued anyway.
Through the process, I found myself in a room that just kept getting darker and more confusing. God’s shown me the lie I was believing and if you’re believing the same one, I want to tear it down for you so you can breathe again.
The lie is pervasive. It’s so very present in our Christian conversations, social media posts, sermons and more.
Friends, God wants to give us the desire of our hearts, but not at the mercy of his purpose for this world. Our desires pale in comparison to the massive movement of God that has existed from before time began. He loves us and he wants us to find meaning, but scriptures clearly state that we do not find meaning within ourselves. He knows we will find meaning in Him and him alone. We do not find meaning, fulfillment, or purpose by endlessly mining within our hearts, our personalities, or our own minds. God knows that.
We find our purpose by knowing God. We find meaning through endlessly searching Him and His word.
Even without looking at scripture I can attest to this because we aren’t any more satisfied than when we began this search. Our seeking never ends because it’s never enough. We want to know more about ourselves.
Knowing ourself makes us feel good. We latch onto new personality tests and put them on a pedestal like they’re our god. We silently make an agreement with the devil that this is the test that will finally make us understand ourselves.
This endless searching has created mass confusion and we are so so lost. We couldn’t find God’s purpose if it hit us in the head right now.
And could it be that we’re trying to be our own Savior in our search? What if we’re trying to rescue ourselves from insignificance? If we are, we don’t want that.
We must step back. We must step outside of our head and our heart.
In order to find God, we’re going to need to turn to God, to His word, and to His presence. God is a deep well that never runs dry. We are not a well. We are a cup of water and there is only so much we will find in our 8 oz. cup.
So, my encouragement to you today is this: if you want to know yourself, know God. If you want to find meaning, learn who God is and what He’s doing. He has give us the privilege to participate in building his kingdom here (that he’s been building long before we showed up) and his kingdom here is not just about us. God is out to save the world. And we will find our place in that world, by looking within Him.
In seeking Him, we will find Him. And in finding Him, we will discover why we’re here.